On the J side...
I have known Ken just as long as I have befriended my hair; or better yet meeting Kenya made me more aware of my hair! She introduced me to weave… and “dookie” braids. Do yall remember those big braids Janet Jackson wore in ‘Poetic Justice’… yep, those… Ken gave me the introduction to them! This is a big deal because we lived in Germany. Not only was there a scarce supply of black hair care; but also hairstyles. We would drive on the autobahn to places out of the way just to find someone to do our hair half way decent. If you ever have driven/rode on the autobahn you can understand why this is a BIG DEAL! When Kenya and I met I was at the age of awkward self-awareness. Ken was put together with the latest and greatest from the states! HELPPP ME WITH MY LOOK!! (smile)I didn’t know how to really maintain my look or hair. I was sooooo into my looks and hair but really did not have the tools to keep my hair in place. Not to mention, I had VERY thick, coarse, long hair that was hard even for the hair stylists in my locale to manage. Because of this fact, I had to learn fast. Relaxing my hair helped to keep it manageable for me and others. I think in the beginning of my journey was like most little black girls… confusing! I wanted long locks that flowed and I hate the ritual of burning relaxers every five weeks that kept the smell of rotten eggs in my scalp for the first days. Either way, I loved the results!
Journeying with Kenya has had parallels to my relationship with my hair. We love, we get frustrated, we mask our faults, nurture, and forgive. I will go through phases of absolutely loving my hair. Having great hair days, picking a new relaxer that helps manage the swing and bounce. I would get frustrated at how my hair would act, so I would hide it or mask its faults with wigs or weave. Covering my hair’s deficiencies (or what I thought were deficiencies) was much easier than confronting why it was not “acting right”! Don’t get me wrong, I will still rock a weave or even a wig (if Rico lets me) but it just feels good to have the raw, naturalness of me exposed. Lastly, relationships have had great moments through nurturing. By nurturing we ask for forgiveness. I remember looking in the mirror and smoothing reconstructive protein conditioner on my hair, after grossly disrespecting it. “Please forgive me, scalp… dang, look at my po hair!” I would be whispering while nurturing and mending each strand. This journey is important and reflective. Ken and Jas have the same journey that you other Joule’s can relate to with relationships. It is a cycle. But once you expose the natural root… the very essence of what the relationship means, it is easier to embrace the “kinks” in the journey. I choose not to give up, keep the journey going and love the ride. My hair is radiant and relearning how to be beautiful in its natural state. I know this isn’t the end… merely the beginning. Buckle up, this ain’t the autobahn but just as foreign. Let’s go Kenya… our journey deserves 18+ more….
On the K side...
Sometimes when you look in the mirror you don’t always like your reflection. Or sometimes the reflection is clouded with blemishes, pimples, caked up eyelashes from last night’s party make-up, and mascara. But other times, the face that looks back at you is one that has made mistakes, failed, made friends, lost friends, beautiful, tamed, golden, and above all wiser than the last look in the mirror. As a young girl – I was a hot mess! Growing up in Germany, nobody really cared about how you looked, how cool you talked or even what kind of clothes you were wearing. Everybody there is in the same crab bucket (thanks to the military we all move around a lot) we are constantly looking for a friend. I think that because I moved around so much I never learned the true meaning of friendship because I was always forming new ones and not staying around long enough to nurture and grow the ones I already formed. Except for Jas, I have know this lady for 18 years, over half of my life. Thanks to God who saw the benefit in our connection - somehow although we drifted apart we always came back together again. When I first met Jas, I was loud, nappy headed, flat chested and in need of some Noxzema! Let’s just say – I hadn’t come into my own “joule” yet. Jas had long think hair, she was skinny, pretty with big boobs (In the 6th grade ya’ll)! I used to get so jealous because all the men liked her more!!! I think in some instances I sort of resented that she was so developed and pretty and I was well the “ugly duckling”. My mirror moments back then were filled with pre-teen angst and longing for these pimples to just melt away! Fast-forward to 2003 when I first moved to Atlanta to go to graduate school (I thought I was hot stuff by now!). Jas was already living down there and I was ready to live it up – but then she was blessed with a child and I can remember thinking selfishly and saying to her “So who am I going to grow up with now” (In my most adolescent voice)? But yet even when my reflection seemed the ugliest and I put my own needs before my lifelong friends’ – God put my face right back in the mirror to see that friendship in not measured by movements but by seasons of giving, love, laughter, anger, and joy. Remember, love does not hurt, does not lie and is not conditional. Upon this realization, only then, when you can truly see your reflection and be assured that what’s looking back is not skewed by cover-up and corrector – can you appreciate the joule you are and those extra beautiful joules that surround you. Thanks Jas for cleaning the dirty make-up off my face. 
Two- Joules... Friends for Life
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