In the Beginning...

Before my mother passed four months ago, there was a time when I would spend up to $80.00 and all day in the Hair Salon which equated to a wasted Saturday. Half of the time, I had to fix my hair again when I got home because 9 times out of 10 the stylist didn't exactly do what I asked her to or she put her own "twist" on it. Either way it was the time and the money that I couldn't get back. Over time I began using the box version of Dark and Lovely and realized that my hair- already frail and thin was shedding and the heat from the flat iron was not helping as well. Although my Farrah Fawcett look was cute, my hair was damaged and mal-nourished and in need of a complete makeover. After the death of my mother, I felt empty nothing seemed right, (everyday was a bad hair day) and my confidence seemed at an all time low. My mother had lost her hair due to cancer treatment and even with a bald head she was beautiful and radiant! Her smile ever so bright and exuberant. I had began to notice that so many women who with confidence, embraced their natural texture and found their own inner beauty and sexuality in the process. So I wondered, "Would it be possible to divorce my current hair (relaxed) and still feel beautiful, confident and sexy?" You know how connected us Black Women are to our tresses. So I gave myself a test - maybe I could try to transition and see if I could live with a half relaxed/half natural head of hair until my relaxer grew out. For three months I was at war with my hair. Because I work out a lot it was a constant routine of washing, conditioning, and flat ironing my hair until I couldn't take it anymore. I finally built up enough courage to go to the Ultimate Barber Lounge in Charlotte, NC and allow Rell "The Barber Artist" Morgan to cut my relaxed hair off. My beautiful and already natural girlfriend Quanita came with me for support and boy did I need it. At first chop, I was a bit nervous. I thought, "What products will I use? Will men think I am beautiful, how will this fit me?" All of the above was answered quickly. It seemed that most men were drawn like flies on you-know-what! I chalked it up as they were drawn by the confidence of a woman who could cut her hair and still exude sexuality and beauty. This began my journey to learning and gaining a new understanding of who I really am and the healing process of dealing with the death of my best friend. I realized that although symbolic - cutting my hair was more like freedom. I shed what seemed to be expected of me and gained what I was supposed to be - a confident, beautiful, and comfortable Black Woman. My journey is not about a movement, "power to the people" or holding up my right fist for the "cause". It is about learning me, sharing my experience with other women, with the hopes that my fears, tears, laughter and experiences will be like that others - full of surprises, twists and turns, but ultimately end with a deep understanding and true love of of the joule we all are... Let the journey begin!!!!